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Image by Marcos Paulo Prado

…without shame, blame or judgments.

Let me get right to the point: a lot of the “advice” out there about how to deal with having an affair (and relationships in general) is total horseshit.  Well-intentioned horseshit, perhaps, but horseshit all the same.


Which is really too bad, because if you’re cheating on your partner, you need guidance that recognizes the complexity of your situation and the fullness of your humanity.


Every relationship is different, every marriage is different, and every affair is different.  There’s no one-size-fits-all way to deal with infidelity.  You don’t need prescriptive advice on what you SHOULD do or HAVE to do.  You need help deciding out what’s right for you.


That’s where I come in.

Image by John Jennings

I developed respect for my own needs!

"Marie helped me develop respect for my own needs - probably for the first time in my life. I had always been the guy who put everyone else first, to a degree that wasn't healthy for me. Marie helped me see that it was important for me to honor my own needs - and that it isn't my job to make everyone else happy all the time."


I’m Dr. Marie Murphy, and I’m a relationship coach with a Ph.D. in the sociology of sexuality.


If you’re having an affair…

It may seem like the whole thing came out of nowhere, and now that it’s happening it’s wonderful in some ways and terrible in others and it’s intense and confusing… and you may barely be able to wrap your head around what’s going on.


It’s okay to be confused.  It’s okay to not know what you want to do about your affair, or your marriage, or your life as a whole.


It’s okay to need time to figure out what’s right for you.


But here’s the deal.  You can’t avoid making decisions indefinitely.

You may be able to sweep your situation under the rug for a while, but that strategy won’t work forever.


And why would you even want to maintain the status quo for much longer?


Isn’t the deception and the infidelity and the complicated logistics of sneaking around with your paramour getting kind of, you know, exhausting?


Wouldn’t you like to make some decisions, make changes in your life, get yourself out of your ethical quagmire, and get on with the business of being happy?

Image by John Jennings

Gave me a whole new perspective!

"Marie's approach to helping me deal with my affair was refreshingly supportive and non-judgmental. She helped me deal with my intense emotions, and gave me a whole new perspective on my situation. With her assistance, big problems became a lot more manageable."


Three words: Yes you can.

And I can help you do it.

Ready to talk?  Click here to schedule an introductory coaching session with me.

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Having an affair doesn’t make you a horrible person.  Period.

You may be in a bit of a pickle, but that doesn’t have to be the end of the world.


Together, we’ll take a look at your affair as a puzzle you can solve, rather than a big bad problem to be fixed.


Having an affair can ultimately be a moment of clarification and an impetus for profound transformation within yourself, your relationship with your romantic partner(s), and your life as a whole.



If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: you can’t shame yourself into making positive, sustainable changes in your life.


There are far better ways to motivate yourself towards change.


And I can show you how.

Click here to schedule a coaching session with me.

Image by John Jennings

I was able to let go of shame and anxiety!

"Before I started working with Marie, I was so ashamed of myself for cheating on my spouse that I was paralyzed with self-hatred. Marie helped me think about my affair in a completely different way. Letting go of shame and anxiety allowed me to be honest with myself and others."


I’m a compassionate, non-judgmental relationship coach, ready to talk about whatever you’re ready to share.

Image by John Jennings

Whole new approach to problem-solving!

“Marie taught me concrete tools for approaching difficult interpersonal relationships in new ways. Putting those tools to use has had a transformative effect on my relationships, and my life as a whole. Marie’s empathic, pragmatic approach helped me feel heard and validated – and gave me a whole new approach to problem-solving. I felt like she was really on my team.”



And here are seven other things you might be interested to know about me:

  1. Aging into a full-on crazy dog person is my ultimate goal.  My spouse and I are the proud doggie parents of a West Highland White Terrier named Seymour, and we plan to have our own HERD of Westies, one day.  (Hoping for some goats, too.)

  2. When I was in high school, I taught sex education to other high school students as a peer sexual health educator.  I also volunteered as an HIV/AIDS prevention street outreach worker, handing out condoms and sexual health information to interested passersby.  Being able to de-stigmatize the provision of sexual health information in these capacities was one of the greatest honors of my life.

  3. I served in the Peace Corps in Zambia, and lived in a mud hut in a rural village for about a year, before moving to Lusaka.  My service took me all around Zambia, and I used my vacation time to travel all around Southern Africa.  Good times, good adventures, wonderful part of the world.

  4. I have a Ph.D. in sociology with an emphasis in sexuality.  All of the teaching and research I’ve done in this area informs my coaching practice in countless ways.

  5. I’m a devoted yogi and meditator.  These practices have made my life so much better, and it’s been a joy to share them with others as a yoga and meditation instructor.

  6. My subscription to The New Yorker is a mainstay of my existence, but my track record for making it through an article in a single session isn’t quite what I would like it to be.

  7. Whenever Jeopardy! is on TV when I’m at the gym and I get a long string of questions right, I entertain vivid fantasies of getting on the show and doing well.  I have just enough general knowledge to go on a hot streak (from the comfort of my elliptical machine) every now and then, and I get all excited when I do.  But then there are times when I know absolutely nothing about the categories, and I’m quickly brought back to earth.  I don’t think I’m ever going to realize that fantasy, and I’m okay with that… mostly!

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