ARE YOU READY TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT YOUR AFFAIR?
IF YOU ARE, I CAN HELP.
I offer confidential, non-judgmental, one-on-one coaching via Zoom.
We’re a great fit for working together if you are…
Ready for change – even if it’s simply a change in your perspective.
Willing to learn new things and try out new ways of thinking and new ways of doing things.
Invested in making your life better, and willing to put in some work to make it so.
Ready to dig deep and take a close look at yourself and your life.
Does this sound like you? Then let’s talk.
There are three ways I work with new clients. During our consultation, we’ll decide which of these options makes the most sense for you.
The first step is to schedule a free 30 minute consultation with me.
Here are some I get asked a lot...
1. Are you going to tell me that if I’m having an affair, I need to end it immediately?
No. I’m not going to tell you that you have to do anything. I help you see where you have choices in life, and help you make choices you feel great about. I don’t offer prescriptive advice, period.
2. I’m sure that if I were to deal with my affair, life as I know it would come to an end in dramatic fashion, and I have no idea how I would handle that.
Most of us, when facing the possibility of big changes in our life, experience a certain amount of trepidation. That isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but sometimes we let our unchecked fears keep us stuck. The coaching process is designed to help you identify what you want in your life, and summon the courage to pursue it – and to learn how to navigate the internal and external barriers that come up along the way. If you’re willing to invest in the process of change, you can handle whatever happens one step at a time. And I’m here to support you as you do so.
3. My spouse knows about my affair, and we’re in couples’ counseling together. Is your coaching any different than what I’m already doing with the couples’ counselor?
Yes. When you work with me, it’s all about you. And this is important because to a great extent, all of our relationship issues are primarily about us. If we’re going to do anything differently in our relationships, we have to get our own thoughts and feelings in order before we can change the way we interact with our partner, or participate in the relationship… and that requires a focus on what’s going on with ourselves as individuals. Couples’ counseling usually doesn’t provide the opportunity for that.
4. Are you going to make me talk about my feelings?
I’m not going to make you do anything – because I can’t make you do anything! Ideally, though, we will talk about your feelings. But in a way you probably never have before! And we do this because it is soooo important to understand our feelings and where they come from and how they drive our actions, if we want to make changes in any part of our lives.
5. It sounds like you mostly work with men who are married to women, and are cheating on their wives. Do you work with women, too? What about people in same-sex relationships? What about people who aren’t married, but are in a relationship with someone who is?
Yes to all of that. My website has a particular emphasis (because: marketing), but I work with people of all genders, in all kinds of relationships. (Furthermore, some of my clients come to me to work on stuff that has nothing to do with infidelity, OR relationships!)
6. If you offer support to people who are having affairs, does that mean you don’t respect the institution of marriage?
The short answer is that I absolutely respect the fact that marriage (and other forms of committed, long-term partnership) works great for a lot of people. I don’t have anything against marriage. And I also know it doesn’t work well for everyone – and I don’t have anything against that, either. The longer answer is, well, longer.
7. My spouse just found out about my affair, and both of us need to talk to someone! Do you work with couples?
Yes, and I love working with couples - but I work with them separately. I do this because so many of our relationship challenges have more to do with us as individuals than anything else. When we get our own shit together, it’s possible for us to approach the relationship in an entirely different way. If we aren’t able to deal with our own nonsense, it’s a lot harder to change the way we interact with our partner and show up in the relationship. If you and your partner are interested in working with me, please book separate consultations, and we’ll take it from there.