165: Ultimatums

Oct 31, 2023

We are on the brink of the end-of-year holiday period, a time of year that can often feel heavy with expectations and hopes for your romantic relationship. From time constraints associated with an affair relationship to circumstances that seem out of your control, emotions tend to run high for all kinds of reasons. And within this context, you might be more likely to issue or receive ultimatums.

It’s reasonable to have hopes, wishes, and desires in any relationship. However, trying to coerce, cajole, or threaten your partner into getting what you want is never the solution. Whether you feel pulled to issue your infidelity partner an ultimatum or find yourself on the receiving end of one, this episode covers both sides of the coin.

Join me this week to hear what you must recognize if you are thinking about issuing an ultimatum and how to navigate receiving an ultimatum in your affair relationship. I’m highlighting three main reasons people issue ultimatums, the subtle but key difference between ultimatums and boundaries, and why boundaries are the secret to feeling empowered, regardless of the actions your partner takes.

Starting in early 2024, I am offering additional ways to work with me. I'm offering a program called You’re Not the Only One, including teachings on dealing with infidelity situations, video courses and assignments, and even group coaching calls with other people just like you (while also maintaining your privacy!). Stay tuned and sign up for my mailing list in the pop-up for all the details!

If you’re ready to take this topic deeper in a confidential and compassionate environment, you can schedule an introductory coaching session with me, Dr. Marie Murphy, by clicking here!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The key difference between ultimatums and boundaries.

  • Why you might be more likely to give or receive ultimatums during the holidays.

  • Three main reasons people issue ultimatums in their relationships.

  • What happens when you believe your feelings are dependent on your partner’s actions.

  • The problem with trying to ensure other people’s behaviors are to your liking.

  • What you must be ready to do if you set a boundary.

  • How to deal with receiving an ultimatum in your relationship.

Listen to the Full Episode:


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