139: Comparing Your Spouse to Your Affair Partner

May 02, 2023

Comparison is a normal human behavior, especially if you’re romantically involved with multiple people. There is a time and place to make comparisons, but are the comparisons you’re making between your spouse and your affair partner (or between any two people in your life) helping you in any discernable way?

If you’re making a decision about your relationships and comparing your partners is helping you do that, that’s terrific. However, if you’re just stuck, spinning in comparison and not getting any closer to deciding what you want, it’s time to start reconsidering the value of the comparisons you’re making.

Tune in this week to discover the problem with comparing your spouse to your affair partner. Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing why making comparisons doesn’t make decisions easier, how to see where you’re stuck in an unhelpful and ineffective comparison loop, and 3 simple tips for doing things differently if comparing your romantic partners isn’t helping you decide your infidelity situation.

If you’re ready to take this topic deeper in a confidential and compassionate environment, you can schedule an introductory coaching session with Dr. Marie Murphy by clicking here!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why making comparisons isn’t categorically bad, but you need to be aware of how you’re using comparisons.

  • Some of the unhelpful ways you might be using comparisons and how it might have become a habit for you.

  • How believing that you should stay married to your spouse makes comparisons way murkier than they have to be.

  • What you’re missing out on when you’re stuck in a place of compulsively comparing your spouse and your affair partner.

  • How to see where you’re trapped in a mental loop of comparison.

  • 3 things you can do differently if your comparisons aren't helping you.

Listen to the Full Episode:


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