130: Implicit Permission to Cheat

Feb 28, 2023

Say you and your partner started off as a monogamous couple, but then you started discussing “alternate arrangements” and it turned out that although you were very enthusiastic about the idea of opening your relationship up, your partner really wasn’t. However, even though your partner didn’t want to be non-monogamous, they also could tell that you really wanted to be able to have experiences with people other than them.

It's not uncommon in these kinds of scenarios for your partner to offer you implicit permission to cheat, or at least pursue sexual connections outside of your relationship, in order to keep the relationship going. Of course, this can bring up a lot of confusion and you might not know how to handle this freedom. If this is a predicament you’re facing, or think you might face in the future, this episode is for you.

Tune in this week to discover what implicit permission to cheat can look like in your relationship, why receiving this permission brings up so much confusion, the difference between implicit and explicit permission in this scenario, and how to handle the freedom your partner might have decided to give you.

If you’re ready to take this topic deeper in a confidential and compassionate environment, you can schedule an introductory coaching session with Dr. Marie Murphy by clicking here!

 What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why your partner might offer you implicit permission to cheat.

  • Some examples of what it looks like when your partner gives you implicit permission to cheat.

  • Why being given implicit permission to cheat can cause extreme amounts of confusion.

  • Some of the funny predicaments you may find yourself in, even if you have a specific ethical nonmonogamy agreement with your partner.

  • 4 confusing ways people often approach the situation when their partner says, “Go out and do what you want, just don’t let me know about it.”

  • Dr. Marie Murphy’s tips for navigating the grey area that gets introduced when your partner wants to be monogamous with you, but says you don’t have to be monogamous with them.

Listen to the Full Episode:


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