106: Ask Yourself the Right Questions

Sep 13, 2022

Many of us have a basic assumption that life needs to make sense. We can interrogate this desire for a coherent narrative of ourselves and our experiences from multiple different angles. But if you really want a deep sense of yourself and who you are, you need to take responsibility and have ownership of your self-definition, which comes from asking yourself the right questions.

Asking the right questions can be life-changing, both on a personal and collective level. When we ask helpful questions, we can address problems and challenges very differently than when we ask not-so-helpful questions. This is just as applicable if you’re trying to solve a math problem or, as is the case here, deciding how you want to deal with your infidelity.

Maybe you want to leave your marriage, but you’re not sure exactly why yet. Perhaps you think your marriage is something you should aspire to and value, but you’re not fully wanting it. Asking yourself, “Why would I want to leave a perfect relationship?” is the wrong question. So, in this episode, Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to ask yourself the right questions that show you what you really want, not what you think you should want.

If you’re ready to take this topic deeper in a confidential and compassionate environment, you can schedule an introductory coaching session with me by clicking here!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why we have a desire for a coherent narrative of ourselves and our life.

  • The questions I see people asking themselves about their infidelity that don’t allow them to own their self-definition and, in many cases, are unanswerable.

  • Why it’s no surprise that people have idealized the idea of marriage (or any aspect of their lives) as the right way to do things.

  • How to see the notion that your life is perfect and therefore you should want it as open to questioning, rather than an assumption you must buy into.

  • Why it’s always okay to want something different to what other people want or what you think you’re supposed to want, and you don’t need a deeper reason.

  • How to start asking yourself more approachable questions that get to the bottom of what you really want.

Listen to the Full Episode:


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