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  • Writer's pictureMarie Murphy

105: It May Be Time to Chuck Your Checklist

Updated: Nov 16, 2022

Your Secret Is Safe With Me with Dr. Marie Murphy |  It May Be Time to Chuck Your Checklist

Trying to choose between multiple partners can seem so confounding that some people just can’t decide. In an attempt to remedy the situation, they turn to checklists for what they want in a partner and try to compare each person on how they score on this checklist.

If you’ve been trying to make decisions around your relationships using some sort of scoring, ranking, or checklist system and it’s working for you, that’s great. We love systematic thinking over here. However, if you’re not getting a clear winner, you might want to entertain the idea that you’re using this thoughtful, deliberate, systematic way of thinking against yourself.

Tune in this week to discover why your attempts to systematically compare your relationships aren’t helping you make a decision. Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing why being in a relationship with more than one wonderful person isn’t some kind of terrible problem that needs resolving immediately, and she’s showing you how to decide what you really want, so you can make a checklist that actually works for you.

If you’re ready to take this topic deeper in a confidential and compassionate environment, you can schedule an introductory coaching session with me by clicking here!


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How people drive themselves crazy trying to do point-by-point comparisons between their partners.

  • What people discover as they try to score their partners’ merits in areas of importance to them.

  • Why no amount of fancy math will be able to definitively separate two (or more) people who are both a great match for you.

  • How a checklist system fails to really clarify which relationship you truly want to choose.

  • Why being in a relationship with two (or more) people you think are wonderful is not a bad problem to have.

  • How your checklists might be a reflection of what you think you should want, instead of what you actually want.

  • Why you never need to justify your preferences to anyone.

  • What to try if your scoring systems aren’t giving you the definitive answer you want.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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